I slept through the night last night for the first time since returning from Ethiopia. Yet, this sweet little one and images of those like him keep racing through my mind and heart. His nose is running....which is so common, especially after a big rain. There were big rains while I was in Ethiopia. He is naked. Why you might ask? He is naked because his family cannot afford clothes for him but even where he lives in the jungle of Ethiopia near the town of Dilla it gets colder at night. This little one doesn't have a bed. He sleeps on a mat on a dirt floor in his mud hut that has no electricity, no running water and no latrines and much of the time no food. Perhaps you can't tell in this picture but his little tummy is hungry. So how am I coping since returning? I'm transitioning but my heart aches for the plight of children just as these in Ethiopia. In Dilla we saw many street orphans and made sure that an 11 year old, very sick boy was taken to a clinic and that someone we know would follow-up regarding his well being. In Sodo a few of us helped a woman with a blind husband and small child get to the hospital for treatment. She had typhoid and malaria....but she will live now because we cared and were the hands and feet of Jesus. In our country we worry about what we are going to wear or how elaborate our Thanksgiving dinner this year. I know because I used to worry about all of those things too....but not now. Now I think about how to forgo lattes; save money and give more to organizations like New Covenant Foundation because I've held some of the more than 6,000,000 orphans in Ethiopia alone. I've wiped the noses of little guys like this guy. I've experienced the lack of education; the lack of medical care and most importantly the lack of hope. As we approach Thanksgiving, we all have so much for which to give thanks. When you sit down to say your thanks and eat your turkey, try for just a moment to remember the face of this little guy and ask God, "What can I do Lord?" For those much is given, much is expected.

Ethiopia My Second Home

Children's smiles are universal. Every little face has beautifully distinct qualities and the smiles often reflect the heart. These are the Ethiopian children I have grown to love. People are asking me, "How are you doing? Do you need a few days of down time to adjust?" I have no response and there will never be enough time for me to adjust to being back in my comfortable home away from Ethiopia, the country that has quickly become my second home.

I don't want my culture to reach back up and grab me and pull me to its core. I want to remain different, touched to the center of my being by all that I experienced in Ethiopia. I realize upon my return that I am quick to cry. I am broken for the plight of the over 6 million orphans who still need homes. I am brought to my knees by the stories of the church planters who are risking everything to spread the Gospel in Sudan and Somalia and remote parts of Ethiopia. They sacrifice so much for God and I sacrifice so little.

The big question after one returns from these trips is, "What now Kristi Burns?" God is whispering one word to me still. That word is SCHOOL! I don't know what that means. Am I to return to Ethiopia and start a school? Am I to go back to school? Am I to go back to Ethiopia and school my friends in the national Ethiopian CHE program (Community Health Evangelism) as they asked? Am I to go back as soon as February?

I returned VERY tired and with the bug that made its way through most of our team. I am slowly getting rested and I am committed to using the time God gives me well. My family doesn't want to hear talk of my return in February. They don't like giving me up. These trips are hard and it would be so easy to just settle in to my comfortable life but God won't let me.....not this time. I'm holding on tight to my Bible. I'm going to it more often than in the past. I'm on my knees praying that God will guide my every step and use my talent and experience to His glory.

I'm 60 years old now and I've perhaps entered the "golden years" of my ministry. What do you have for me Lord? In Ethiopia you showed me how to give water and bread to a dying woman. You broke my heart for the sick and hungry. You showed me how little it takes in USD to help the poor. You gave me a song in my heart for the babies who are no longer at the orphanage because they have been adopted. You whispered the word SCHOOL to me and I know I can trust you for what that means in the future. You ignited in my friend a commitment to helping women in Ethiopia....women who are beaten by their drunk husbands and have no where to turn. You are an amazing God!

This I know, I will pray. I will search the Scriptures. I will listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit and I will be obedient to my God in service to him. The next steps will unfold. I am privileged to serve the one true God, my Father!

Turning 60 In Ethiopia

In Ethiopia the younger children take care of the older children. All the children are beautiful as you can see in this photo. Friday, October 28, 2011, I am headed back to Ethiopia for the third trip in a year. Each time I go, I leave a bigger piece of my heart there with the people who love God with all their heart and with so little, are so happy. Many things have changed since my first trip in 2010. My friend the director of the orphanage in Sodo has left to work at a school in Germany. I pray the orphanage is handling her departure well and managing the too many children they are responsible for every day. Secondly, the adoption laws in Ethiopia have changed making it much harder and longer to adopt a child through the laborious legal system. Christian World Adoption the organization that places these beautiful children is experiencing financial hardship because children are having to stay longer before getting adopted and more and more babies due to drought, death and poverty are being abandoned at birth. People ask me, what is the solution? I pray that the government of Ethiopia will speed up their process and figure out how to care for the nearly 6,000,000 orphans that need families, during these delays.

Other things have changed too. There is a drought and even more families are without enough water and without food. It is heartbreaking. The contrast between my life, where today I had a salty, carmel mocha from Starbucks and the mothers in Ethiopia who cannot care for their children is so very STARK. I struggle with what I am to do and with what I am to share with my friends. We have so very much.

I am hoping that "sad boy" will recognize me and that once again, I can cuddle with him and show him that he is a child of God and that he is indeed loved by me. I know my heart will be broken over and over again, for the women and children with such big eyes and only one, raggy change of clothes. I am hoping that the Holy Spirit will move me to new places spiritually when I talk with church planters and leaders in the Community Health Evangelism program.

I am thankful that I get so much quality time with my Ethiopian friends. I will miss my family and seeing these children makes me miss my own children and grandchildren deeply. This trip feels a little different. I will turn 60 in Ethiopia and in doing so I realize that I may not have that much time left on the earth to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ and follow the command of Jesus to serve the poor. What do you have for me this time, Lord? Help me to be obedient to you every day. Help me know what is next in my ministry of service to you and others.

Thank you for the best birthday gift ever...turning 60 in Ethiopia, the land I love.

Our daughter Amy and her husband Erik are going to Spain to celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary. I am so happy for them. Amy has never been to Europe. I don't think Erik has either. They arrive in less than 24 hours with their four children. Hope is 10 and has been coming to our lake cabin since she was not quite 2 years old. Malia is 7 and she has spent every one of her summers at the lake. Reese is 5 and he can't wait to go fishing. Johanna is 14 months and she has NEVER been away from her Mommy and Daddy and she is spending 10 days with us. I love babies....and babies love me. But of all of our grandchildren...we have been with Johanna the least. She is very attached to her Mommy. She is a preacher's daughter and hates the nursery. So I'm pretty sure we will all have some adjusting to do. Grandpa had tee-shirts printed for all the grandchildren that say "Grandpa's Summer Camp" on them. He will indeed be running summer camp. He promised to give the Hanson kids swimming lessons (he is a certified swimming instructor). Today he cleaned the entire beach for the kids..and the weather is finally nice. My instructions from Amy are to keep my eye on Johanna every minute. She is quick and she is naughty according to her mother. Will Johanna conquer Grandma or will Grandma conquer, Johanna. She is so cute and adorable don't you think? Her Mommy says, "She is my strongest willed child." Pray for me!

Fishing with Jackson

Jackson, my son Steve and his wife Sarah's little boy, is two years old now. He is very verbal for a boy his age. This spring he fished for the first time. He loved being out in the boat with Grandpa and his Daddy. He wasn't as much into the fish or even catching fish as he was just excited about the experience. Yesterday he was at our house and we went for a long walk in the woods. We have a tee-pee in our woods, constructed by the Campfire Campers below our property. Jackson liked the tee-pee, but he was more interested in finding rocks he liked and putting them in his pockets. It reminded me of all the days my kids spent at their Grandparents' picking up rocks and putting them in their pockets. When you are a busy Mom you really don't spend much time thinking about rocks in pockets. They are really more of a laundry hazard than anything else. But somehow when you are a Grandma, you take the time to examine the rocks with your grandson. You talk about how deep his pockets are and you spend a little more time encouraging your grandson's creativity with the rocks. When your grandson talks to you about all he sees during your walk in the woods, it has a different kind of charm than the words that came from the mouths of your own children. Maybe it is because my children taught me how to love so deeply that now when I walk in the woods with Jackson and share moments and rocks, I appreciate the love of a child and for a child in even deeper ways.

Mount Tabor

In September of 2009 I spent two weeks in the Middle East. I lived and worked in Bethlehem at a home for disabled and blind children called The House of Hope. It was an eye-opening experience. I can still recall the sadness I felt when I walked through a refugee camp that had been in existence in the West Bank for over 40 years. Young adults who were born in the Camp had never known anything different than a life behind walls with poor access to food and water. Things are complex in the Middle East. I wonder if I will ever see peace there in my life time. It is not lost on me that in the birthplace of Jesus the majority of people are now Muslims and there is incredible strife between people groups. Jesus knew all of this when he hiked up to the top of Mount Tabor, a beautiful mountain that overlooks the Jezreel Valley. I've been to the top of Mount Tabor and looked out at the Valley and the village where Mary Magdelene grew up. When I read the Bible now it comes alive with references to places I've stood.

When my heart aches for broken, poor and hungry people without freedom in Christ, I can't imagine how heavy Jesus' heart must have been some days....one of those days may have been at the top of Mount Tabor. With all the unrest in the Middle East right now and in Northern Africa I meditate on what it means for our times. I try to be quiet and listen to what God is saying. Real peace doesn't come on the land. Real peace comes in our hearts when we are able to come into the presence of God and hear his voice of comfort.

The Squeeze of Our Culture

It's a lazy day for me, the first day of my husband's spring break from the University. I'm sitting by the warm, fire and reading and writing with a spirit of thanksgiving and prayer. I am one of the few people on the earth that has enough. I am warm and full from a nourishing breakfast. I have experienced, just this morning, the comfort from a warm cup of very good coffee. I should be happy, but my heart still aches for the many children in Ethiopia who need parents. I am fighting to keep remembering these babies and children when everything within my culture screams to forget. In my US world, I grew up believing that it was my right to not only embrace but acquire "the American Dream." I remember as a young mother, yearning for the day I had a dishwasher and a second car. I believed that God wanted to bless me with a nice house and comfort. But now that I've traveled throughout the world and experienced the pain and suffering of others, my soul is stirred to the quick.

Jesus says the poor will always be with me. He knows the impact of sin on His creation. That said, we, the rich by the world's standards, are truly called to do more than we, as American Christians, are currently doing in the world. While we are good at responding to emergencies like helping our brothers and sisters in Haiti or now Japan, we are not so good at doing the things that might impact our lives for the kingdom. I'm speaking to myself here too. I find that I don't really want to do the hard work of downsizing my life financially. Yet so much of my time is spent in the caring for my material possessions. In Ethiopia last week, my friend Stephne, who oversees three orphanges, lost a little girl who came to the orphanage greatly malnourished. She arrived too late and they couldn't save her. Right after she died, the orphanage received yet one more rescued baby, abandoned by her father after her mother died in childbirth. This happens nearly every week. When you hold these little ones, the problem is very real. When you kiss their little, sweet heads and rock them to sleep, you can't imagine the pain and suffering associated with their abandonment. They are real babies. I learned in Ethiopia, this last time, that abandoned babies have characteristics unlike babies who bond immediately with the parents. Abandoned babies have huge, fearful eyes and they flail far more often than normally bonded babies. I was able to be at the orphanage long enough to see one of these little baby boys calm down, gain weight and sleep peacefully. My arms long for one of those babies to hold and my heart breaks for the almost unfathomable problem of orphans in Africa. If you hold a baby this week, will you step out of your cultural responsibilities and the rat race and pray for the babies in Ethiopia...the so many babies that need people to love and hold them ? Pray that God will break through and that the Ethiopian government will find a good solution.

Praying for Sad Boy and the Orphans

Today, I just can't get little Sad Boy off my mind. I have been praying for him in light of all that has happened in Japan....such great loss. Maybe because it breaks my heart that he lost both of his parents and last week the government of Ethiopia announced that they are stopping 90% of all adoptions. I don't know what this means for this sweet little boy so I pray. God loves all his children. He doesn't want anything bad or painful to happen to anyone he loves. The amazing thing is he loves even those who do incredibly bad things on the earth. God is a jealous God and he wants all of us....our hearts and our minds. There are consequences in a sinful, fallen, world. We were made in God's image....Sad Boy was made in God's image and yet he lives on a very fallen earth. It rained yesterday in Ethiopia. While I was there I did a rain dance with my new friend, Karmyn. She sent me a message today telling me God brought the rain. Here in the US we often grumble at the rain....but today, I am so thankful for the rain in Soddo, Ethiopia. There are over 6,000,000 orphans in Ethiopia alone. I have no idea of the magnitude of the problem in all of Africa. It is hard for one person to make a difference and as I sit in my comfortable home with all the water I could possibly drink, my heart goes out to the people of Japan who have no drinking water or food and who lost loved ones within the last few days. I know God loves all of his creation. Oh but that we could all share the Good News of Jesus Christ with those we come in contact with who don't call Jesus their Lord. We really don't know how much time we have and for many.....it will be too late. I pray that my comfortable life will not numb me to listening to the voice of God. I pray that I will keep remembering all the suffering I saw and that I won't let my culture get a grip on me. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would break my heart with what breaks His heart.....it's a serious prayer. One shouldn't pray it unless you are ready for a heavy heart. I have a heavy heart today. Here is a picture of Sad Boy being held by the physical therapist that was on our trip.

Sad Boy Giggles

When you are adjusting to an 11 hour time difference you wake up early. Today I laid in bed for an hour and then unable to toss and turn any longer, I got up before 4:00 AM. To my surprise I had an email from Stephne Bowers, the Director of the Christian World Adoption orphanage in Soddo, Ethiopia where Sad Boy lives. Steph said that yesterday she played with him and he laughed and giggled! I rejoice in this wonderful information. God is answering my prayers for this precious boy. How often do you extend yourself in love to another person. When you see a sad person in the grocery store or on the street, how often do you reach out. I am encouraged that reaching out and touching the life of a sad person, whether young or old...makes a difference in the Kingdom of God. In America we are so often, self-focused. In Ethiopia, people are other-focused. Family is everything in Ethiopia and yet family members are dying all the time. A new missionary friend in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Becky Cox is working on creating a Hospice program in one of the poorest areas of Addis, near a large leper colony. Becky says that while as a public health nurse, she is engaged in educating women about HIV/AIDS it is too late for many of them. Young mothers are dying of HIV/AIDS and who is nursing them as they die? Their young three and four year old children are their only care givers. This is what happened to Sad Boy. He lost both of his parents and he is only four years old. Imagine what he has already experienced at such a young age. Oh Lord, do help the children who are watching their parents die. Give exceptional courage and power to my new friend, Becky who is serving lepers and dying mothers. Give exceptional courage and power to my friend Stephne Bowers who is serving so many orphans and making them laugh and giggle!

Sad Boy

I am now back from my two weeks in Ethiopia. While this was my second trip in less than four months...it was a harder trip...one that required me to deal with a broken heart. While I have often asked God to break my heart with what breaks His...when it happens it takes you to a place you can hardly imagine. This is just what happened with the little four year old boy I will call "Sad Boy." Sad Boy lost both of his parents at a young age. After loosing his parents he was sent to an orphanage where he was not thriving. Later he was sent to the CWA orphanage in Soddo, Ethiopia where I spent 10 days. When I first arrived at the orphanage in Soddo I spotted him. While he was walking...he did not lift up his head. I have never seen a child who appeared more depressed. While beautiful in appearance he was thin with his clothes hanging on his dry-skinned body and when you lifted his sad chin you could see dark circles under his eyes. I picked him up immediately and he wrapped his lifeless feeling little body around me and placed his sweet head on my chest..and then my heart began to break. I carried him around thinking he was a girl because that day the nannies had dressed him in a pink shirt and a denim jumper. The Ethiopian nannies have little knowledge of gender oriented dress. I felt him and he felt warm so I asked the nurse to take his temperature thinking he might be dehydrated. He had a normal temperature, he was simply lifeless. The next time I saw him he was dressed appropriately and entering very carefully into play with older children. I prayed, "Thank you, Lord for his play." I remember telling myself that I couldn't get attached to him...I couldn't get attached to any of babies or children, so I spent the next few times with the babies. I learned that rescued babies (those who are abandoned by a parent)have symptoms that I never learned about in graduate school when I studied infants. Rescued babies have large eyes that look very scared and they don't blink their eyes like normal babies. They also are tense and they flail their arms outward until they are hugged and held enough to start trusting. I was there long enough to see one such baby relax, eat well and stop flailing. I held him tight for hours and finally he began to relax. So after feeding, holding and loving babies I had to check on Sad Boy. This particular day he was in the nap room and when I approached him he was terrified by the other boys who were throwing stuffed animals at him. Even two year olds were picking on Sad Boy...oh how young they learn their power. I picked up Sad Boy and held him. Once again, he put his sad little head on my chest and held on for dear life. I sat in a chair and sang to him...he hardly moved. His pants were falling off of him so I asked a nanny for new pants and she obliged. The other little boys were being naughty and I don't speak Amharic so Sad Boy and I left the nap room for time together. I sat with him on a bench. I kissed him and hugged him and told him stories. I prayed over him and told him that God loved him so much and that Grandma Kristi loved him too. I asked the nannies for lotion and Vaseline and rubbed much needed moisture into his dry skin. I tried to play with him with a little black stuffed animal...but quickly learned that it terrified him. My guess was that he had long been abused. So I squeezed harder and kissed his cheeks and his neck and his sweet little head and after two hours he looked up at me..not just any look but a deep into your eyes look...a look of thanksgiving for loving him and THEN....he smiled and my heart was forever broken. Oh how I prayed that he would have good parents who love him soon. It was so hard to give him back. I asked the orphanage director, Stephne to please make sure he could sleep with a nanny so he could feel safe. She said she would do so. When I left the orphanage for the last time, he was playing with Lincoln Logs with an older child and I quietly asked God to protect sweet Sad Boy. If it would have been possible to bring him home, I would have done so...asking permission of my husband later...but that isn't how it works in Ethiopia. He will forever live in my heart and I can't imagine how broken hearted Jesus is when he looks at these beautiful children who have experienced so much pain in such a short time. I love you Sad Boy and I am praying for you.

Tomorrow I head to Ethiopia for two weeks. I will be working primarily with Stephne Bowers the director of the Christian World Adoption (CWA) orphanage in Soddo. I will do my best to post to this blog as I have access to electricity and the internet while I am gone. Please pray for the journey and for water for the orphanage. There is a drought there right now and water is coming in by donkey from the river. The river is drying up right now.